Moms have to be so brave!

Remember the first week of college, when you didn’t know anyone? It was easier to just stay in your room and eat the oreos your mom sent in the care package, then go down to the dining hall. When that dim-witted, cheery RA showed up to invited you to the ice cream social, you could just make up an excuse to stay in your room the whole week. But you’re not going to make any friends in your room.

My kids are happy to hang in the yard, eat at home and have fun with each other. But they are not going to make any French friends or speak any French at home. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am starting to plan extra activities to do to get them out and speaking with other people. I took it easy on them at the beginning of the week, but now we really need to get out there. 

Today I took them to an art show at a local kids art program. It was the culmination of the week’s art class. I wasn’t sure what the “art” was going to be, but I was hoping they could see some other kids and speak a little French. If my kids liked the art and the teacher, I planned to sign them up for some classes for next week.

When I made the arrangements with the art teacher, my French teacher was nearby. After the art teacher left, I told my teacher- I am scared! Right now I am being so brave for my kids. I knew this would be challenging, but truth be told, I am terrified half of the time. 

It’s that same bravery we show when they hurt themselves and they look for your reaction. Even if it’s bad, you have to stuff it way down and put on your “it’s going to be OK” face, scoop them up and take care of it. 

So we bundled up against the rain and headed to the art studio for the kids’ “show.” we got to the studio and I didn’t see any kids. Typical of our time here so far. But then the teacher led us to a court yard full of screaming kids playing tag. My kids had so much fun playing with the others, I was a little sad when the teacher announced it was time for the show.

boys playing tag "le chat"

We went back into the studio and the children took seats around a large display. It was filled with little clay houses and black shoe boxes decorated with tubes and objects from nature: feathers, sticks, flowers. Little clay statues of mice were placed around. OK.

the "art" at the art show

Here comes the teacher with clasped hands and the kids go nuts. 

I can’t understand a word because it’s these little excited voices speaking baby French very fast. She opens her hands and drops a hamster down into the exhibit. It’s a giant hamster maze of little houses and obstacles. The tubes are for the hamster to climb through. Each kid is ecstatic when the hamster runs into the house or box that he or she created in the art class. My kids are laughing, the other kids are out of their minds, the adults are laughing. Cake is served, beer is poured. My kids are speaking French with the other kids.

After the art “show,” my kids wanted to return to our apartment, but I was walking a little lighter from our experience (and maybe the little bit of Belgian been I had). I forced them to walk around the town square before heading home. It wasn’t raining and it was a Friday night after all!  

We headed to the little grocer whom we’ve visited quite a bit. He laughed at me when I bought one beer! He juggled for my kids and made them laugh. 

It seems we just needed this place to come alive a little bit so we could experience a Friday night in France- a la famille. 

So now we’re back home and I’m making fish sticks. But mission accomplished for this brave mom, for today anyway. 

Free time in the studio after le hamster 

Don't worry friends-- I did not have fish sticks for dinner; this is a wonderful pastry with potatoes and blue cheese.
I got it at the market which travels among the smaller towns of this region. Our class went to the market in St. Satur,
but tomorrow it is in Sancerre. In the background is my beer and the baguettes we purchased on our way home
from the art show (above). 

  

We've Got the Place to Ourselves!

I had a bit of a pity party for myself today. 

Each morning that we've been here, we walk to school to get our energies out (as the French say). It's a good thing really, to take a brisk walk up hill on our way to class, but my kids are loud. SO loud, that their noise bounces off the buildings and the narrow lanes. We are the only noise in town. 

Walking to school.

I urgently tell them -- guys, it's early, you're too loud; guys, shh - you'll wake up the whole village; boys, this town isn't empty you know,  it's just that everyone else is quiet!

Well, I was wrong. It is empty.

The school did not tell me that we chose a week when the French schools are on winter holiday. They offered me other weeks (one package at a different time in January was actually cheaper), but this one fit my kids' school schedules better, so I picked it.

Although the school provided me with a list of the shops and restaurants' hours, it's been hit or miss. Some of them are never open; I thought it was the lackadaisical French, then I noticed one sign read "closed for vacation; will return March 8." Hmmmm. Figures.

Sunday was sunny and beautiful, the Parisian tourists were in town; kids were playing in the square. Since then it's been quiet ---- and rainy.

It wouldn't matter except that my kids are extroverts (as many of you know) and are dying to see some kids and practice their French. Our class took a field trip today to the baker so my children could practice ordering les baguettes, then we hit the tourist office to try and find some other activities for my kids. Our teacher could see the frustration on my face when we asked the director about the numerous local activities and she kept saying, but not this week, but not this week! 

After we returned to the school, I told our teacher that I thought the school should have warned me. I could have rented a car or planned more outside activities. That's when I started feeling sort of sorry for myself. I told her that it had rained all day yesterday and my kids didn't want to go out for lunch yesterday because of the rain. Cooper was stir crazy and misbehaving. I fought back tears to tell our teacher-- if only I had known....! 

Luckily, the sun came out today. We found a little playground which my children loved-- even Samuel! I have reached out to a couple of local tour companies to beg for some arrangements to take us to do something, anything to keep us from wandering the empty streets. We had a great French lunch today at a cafe where the owners were so nice to my kids (well, of course, there was no one else in the restaurant!). 

After the park, my kids came back to our little yard and played outside for over an hour. Tonight, we hosted a teacher here in our apartment for a French cooking class. The kids helped make crepes and chocolate mousse. I thought their behavior was a little crazy, but when she said Samuel's French was lovely, my mood totally changed for the better.

Well that, and she gave me a little pep talk. She has taught at the school for a few years and she has a five year old son. She promised that although my kids aren't always participating and speaking, that the lessons sink in and that two weeks was a good amount of time to give them some "very good French." 

She and I were making a crust for quiche-- something I would not do at home, so please don't tell my husband-- it was ripping as we tried to pull it off the board. She offered to make a new one and I said-

-- NO! we will make it work-- I did not come all this way to abandon this crust-- and I did not come all this way for my children NOT TO LEARN FRENCH! We mothers must be optimistic! That is our job!

She probably thinks I am crazy, but I think she agreed with me anyway. Or she was scared of me.

Above left, Bennett prepares the crepe batter,  while above right, the teacher shows Samuel what "hard snow" (stiff peaks) means and Bennett prepares to flip the crepe after dinner.

Boys enjoy the crepes they made.

Best of Travel and Leisure- not really...

I knew when traveling here with three children that I would have to give up some things. 

One of them, so far, has been the food. We had one experience in a real french restaurant, which I described in an earlier post. My biggest goal wasn’t having the boys try new food, but merely to survive through the meal without getting shushed a second time. I haven't been able to enjoy a truly French meal yet. We’ve been keeping it pretty simple since arriving a few days ago. Most of our meals have been in our apartment, so I am mostly cooking things familiar to them. 

Samuel enjoys our typical French breakfast chez nous-- fruit, juice and baguette with chocolate.

Our French class is a family class, and it’s only the four of us. There is no interaction with others. It’s been a little boring for me and Samuel, but we’re getting a lot of practice using our French. Yesterday the little boys did great, but today, they hardly spoke at all. I was getting anxious that they were not enjoying it. When we face-timed Taylor after lunch, they boys reported that French class was awesome and they were having a great time. Go figure! 

Here are the littles, playing a card game with our teacher-- do they look bored?
Of course they do, but they said it was awesome.

I also know that I will not be able to see everything great about this place. When people here learn that we have no car, they say, oh too bad, there is this to see, there is that to see. But we are here to be in French class, play in the yard and go to bed on time. When Taylor gets here, we’ll be tourists, but until then, we are trying to be French!

Cooper at the chèvre farm today.

Field trip! Our school went to a goat cheese farm. The boys loved the goats, but refused to try the cheese. I did and it was delicious! I took some of the aged chèvre home, but it is screaming for red wine and I have none. Yep-- I'm in wine country and I have no wine. I haven't had the heart to drag my kids into one of the wine shops yet, but now I must or I can't eat my cheese! Another thing I've been doing differently on this trip. If it were me and Taylor, we would have gotten the wine before we unpacked!

It’s hard for me to slow things down; I am trying not to succumb to my own desire to keep things moving, expose them to new things, show them the sites, go, go, go. I am trying to keep it simple for them. No worries though, the kids seem to be getting settled and I'll be able to do a little more with them, as long as I keep my eye on the prize! We're here for three months and I am sure I'll get to do a lot of the things I want to do. 

While getting a group pic at the chevre farm...

...a goat tried to eat my coat!

I know where I'm sleeping tonight!

It’s always when I am patting myself on the back with both hands that I end up kicking myself in the ass. 

Jet lag. 

Upon everyone’s advice, we plowed through our arrival day with meals at regular intervals and no naps. We even got outside for fresh air despite the Norfolk-esque weather of 50 and raining. It all paid off when the boys went down beautifully at 8am—- and woke up 14 hours later; no big deal. Again, more regular meals, walks outside in the sunshine. All was well, until bedtime Sunday night— our second night in France.

After a big day I knew the kids would be exhausted and ready for bed— except that it was 4pm Norfolk time. And they knew it. They would have no part of my quiet bedtime routine. Despite copious doses of melatonin and appeals from an exhausted mom— they were ready not going down easily.

Anyone familiar with whack-a-mole can relate to my bedtime routine last night. Holy moly. Placate one boy whose brother kicked him in the head, WHACK; turn the radiator down because Samuel is roaming the halls in his underwear, WHACK; confiscating kindle because they figured out the web access and are trying to play video games, WHACK; go get my own dose of melatonin, WHACK; confiscate reading light because Samuel thinks it’s cool to project blinking light on ceiling—of our shared room, WHACK; remove Cooper from bed he shared with Bennett because he’s pretending to be the monster from garbage compactor in Episode IV, WHACK; go get Bennett some water so he can take melatonin, WHACK.

At one point, and I am not proud of this, I set Cooper up on a blanket on the floor in the partially heated hallway at the bottom of some very creepy stairs to the unoccupied, and probably haunted, third floor of our apartment. He knew I was pissed, so he said nothing. He rolled over, hid his head under the blanket and went directly to sleep. 

I am surprised Samuel made it through the night alive. As I mentioned, we were sharing a room and he was wide awake until about 4am (10pm Norfolk time). 

I was already tired on Sunday— we went into a pizza place I had read about. We tried eating there Saturday, but arrived after 2pm and they do not serve lunch after 2— period. Anyway, we’d been out walking since mid-morning (again, trying to avoid jet lag, according to my perfect plan). 

The place was in a basement, dark, with timbered ceilings. Rugby on every TV and people were settling in. Feeling groggy and enjoying this cave-like comfort, I started getting a little sleepy. I dropped the worst French I’ve ever heard myself speak, managed to order a cheese pizza without olives- yeah- don’t ask—and then proceeded to ask for a “cafe d’eau.” Yep- a coffee of water. I get so flustered I order a glass of red wine. So he leaves and when he comes back, I am not sure he’s the same guy. Seriously- I am messed up! What the hell is wrong with me? Was my French so bad, he had to get reinforcements? I whisper to the boys— is that the same waiter? What the hell do they know? They haven’t had TV in two days— they are GLUED to the rugby, which they don’t even understand. Samuel says- I dunno mom, they all look alike. Seriously?! That is not true. I think he was trying to be funny. I ask the guy — are you the same man who was here before (in much better French, because now the adrenaline has kicked in, as I am terrified that I am losing my sh!t). He says— and this is where pronouns are important my friends— “yeah, yeah, it’s all the same.” Oh— what the hell did he just say? Did he say “I” am the same or “it” is the same!? I know my subject pronouns — but what did he say!?

I am pretty convinced he is not the same waiter at this point. So I again order the same cheese pizza— no olives— but I decide I want a beer instead of wine because I am now sweating and need a cool drink. I order myself a fancy pizza and salad and sit back relieved that it’s all over. What do you know, here comes waiter number one— with a glass of red wine AND a beer, and a carafe of water. 

I am sort of smug because I KNEW it was a different waiter, but I am also sort of embarrassed now because here is this poor lady with three rowdy boys and three glasses in front of me. So I start drinking! 

Post-script: that roll-a-bed from the lego picture is now in use— in the room with the other two twin beds. Three boys, three beds, and MOM is in the beautiful master suite overlooking the vineyards in the valley. The boys are in their beds, and it’s lights out and I think they are asleep. They’re quiet anyway!

Here's some pics, if you didn't already see them on FB; I'll try and get better with the pics.

Here's one of the many winery offices in Sancerre; they have storefronts where they have tastings,
sell tour tickets and sell bottles to take or ship. 

Sunday evening: the boys found one of their cartoons on TV- in French of course.

You can't tell very well, but on our way to schoool this morning at 8:45, we saw this guy walking down the street.
That's a pig butt on each hook.

Hiking to the next town to go to the supermarche.

Sancerre is very rural. It is surrounded by vineyards. The village only has a small grocer,
very limited and he's closed Mondays. 

The Curriculum Post

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, this is not a vacation. This is a study abroad for kids. It’s something I’ve dreamt about since a friend told me she took her kids to France in the summers to learn French. When I mentioned the idea to Samuel (there are so many schools available throughout France in the summer), he said— I don’t want to go to school all summer; I want to hang out! 

Gus loves his workbook so much.
He's getting a jump start on us.

That may sound like a spoiled child’s perception of studying a language, but he had a point. Why make my kids go to school all summer? Can’t we do something like that during the school year? I looked everywhere for a school year program. I googled “study abroad- school aged children;” “study abroad- children;” “homeschool in France.” Nothing. There may be a reason people don’t do this—  am I about to find out why??

The kids are primarily here to learn French language, history and culture. They are going to work as much as if they were back home in school, only the hours will be mercifully shorter because it is “homeschool.”

Anyway— for my friends who geek-out on curriculum, here’s what we plan to do for our program of study.

Our first two weeks are in a family immersion program offered by a small language school here in Sancerre. Classes are each day 9-12; they offer activities in the afternoons. There is homework, and all students are expected to speak only French at all times, even outside of school. 

The first week, we intend to focus only on the French immersion. After week one, we will need to begin our other homeschool subjects so we can cover everything we need to. 

I’ll be interested to see what my homeschool friends say about this. Everyone does it differently. Some people don’t use a hard-fast curriculum when they travel; they let the travels be the curriculum. I’m not sure I could live with that for three months, and for two months we’re not doing much traveling at all. For us, we’ll be doing three subjects: Math, French and History/Geography. Each boy has a Napoleon Dynamite-esque zipper binder for schoolwork. They have mostly history stuff: a fold-out timeline, copies of maps and the ever-popular “people tab.” I tried not to bring too much paper. Many of our books are on kindles and we’re using numerous web sites and on-line programs.

Math: As my kids will return to public school this fall, I wanted to keep them on track for math. The teachers were kind enough to give me their pacing guides for math. Samuel will do algebra using the on-line curriculum we used in homeschool, making sure we hit all of the topics covered in his school’s algebra class. For the littles, I have switched things up a bit so that they both do the same concepts at the same time, but at their own levels. We’re using a lessons from two on-line sources for them. I also have workbooks for the days we may not have access to our on-line curricula. Done and done!

French: we’ll start with the lessons that the boys receive from the school. I also have some easy to use handbooks at approximate grade level for each boy. We’ll use them in Antibes to reinforce grammar and learn new vocabulary. After about a month and a half in Antibes, the boys will go to a language school for one week. I am hoping this will reinforce what they’ve learned from me and give them another chance to practice with an instructor. Samuel’s program includes after school activities with other youth. I’lll be interested to see how that goes because they probably won’t be a lot of youth in April, but we’ll see. 

History/Geography:  I had to decide whether to cover a few topics in depth, or hit the high points over a long period of time. We have the unique opportunity to see some of the best preserved artifacts from Ancient Roman history, so I wanted to cover that. Samuel really wants to see the D-Day beaches, so I have to cover that. I really wanted to see Mont St. Michel, so medieval history would also be good to include; the Bayeux Tapestry tells of the Norman Conquest— and there you have it; my history/geography curriculum fell into place. It is a lot to cover (see list below).

For Cooper and Bennett, this will be their first time studying world history of any kind, so I’ll focus on maps and timelines and fill them in with good stories from Susan Wise Bauer’s awesome books- The Story of the World. I have two on kindle and decided to schlep the other two here with us. They are worth it. I’ve pulled from History Odyssey, the BBC History for Primary grades (on-line), a few great DK books for activities. We’ll also use Horrible Histories because my kids love them. I found some kindle versions and brought one with us (so hard to choose!).

I’ve rationalized this to say I’ll give them a big overview with my goal for them to just understand what and when in relation to other events. They’ll remember what they learn on our “field trips” more than anything I can really teach them anyway. I’ve tied lessons to places that we’ll visit, so hopefully it’ll sink in, even though we’re just brushing the surface of most topics. A history prof would shudder to see that I am covering the middle ages in two weeks, or both world wars in one week! 

Samuel will go a little deeper with essays and research projects. He’ll also help me teach Ancient Greece and Rome because we already studied them in homeschool and he knows more than I do on those subjects!

My goal is to wrap up history before Taylor joins us— who wants to study on a family vacation? That’s why the detailed list below only includes 9 weeks. We will continue with math practice in our workbooks, but no new concepts.

Samuel will continue to review Algebra to get ready for testing. The school system requires that Samuel take his SOLs (reading and algebra) before advancing to 8th grade; and he must take the French I final exam in order to qualify for French II. Poor guy will be re-enrolled in public school when we arrive home and go back to school May 22.

It was quite a bit of work to put all of this together before we left. I wanted to make sure I had the resources to pull it off. 

History Notebook, with one of TSOW books.

Here is the History/Geog in detail, tied to the places we’ll go:

Week 1: Ancient Greece

Weeks 2 and 3: Ancient Rome (preparing for field trip to Roman Antiquities in Nimes, Orange and Arles)

Week 4 and 5: Middle Ages (Germanic tribes who settled France and England, monasticism, feudal system and castles, Battle of Hastings, preparing for trip to Bayeux, Avingon papacy, field trip to Avignon)

Week 6 and 7: Reformation, Renaissance and Revolution (Renaissance art and architecture, preparing for trip to Florence, and studies of War of 1812 and the French Revolution, preparing for trip to Paris)

Week 8: Napoleonic Years, The Industrial Revolution and Victorian Britain (preparing for trips to Paris and London)

Week 9: The World at War (WWI and WWII, preparing for trip to D-Day beaches)

Our First Day (34 hours, really)

I need to make this one quick. The kids are starting to lose their battle with jet lag. 

They were total troopers today. At the departure gate, Samuel heard some teenagers speaking French. He ran over to me and said— mom, they’re speaking French, can I go talk to them? With all of the confidence in the world, he started talking in broken French, working the crowd. Later on the train, our seats were at a table with two girls, 10 and 15. Samuel dove right in. I gave him bonus points for putting himself out there (even with his inadequate vocab). 

For the past couple of months, I’ve been making the kids do “twenty minutes of French”— their choice, videos, podcasts, books— each day after homework. Today, when I suggested we watch TV (in French) for twenty minutes, Bennett said— mom, we don’t have to do twenty minutes of French when we’re IN FRANCE!! Touche Bennett.

Cooper’s wisdom came like this: French people’s farts smell different.

We’re on our own until Monday morning, when we start language school. We plan to wander around town tomorrow- that should take about 12 minutes. 

My American faux pas today: at the small grocer (which opened over 30 minutes later than advertised— no one seemed to mind the wait outside in the rain), I used the credit card machine with the chip reader, so I thought it was like the ATMs where you put the card in quickly and remove it. I kept pulling it out too quickly and the grocer said (in French) — You are too fast! You are not in the United States, you are in Sancerre. You will need to slow down.

Yep— that’s why we’re here.

First thing the boys did when we got into our apartment was dump out the legos they brought. Home sweet home.

Where the hell is my underwear?

Where the hell is my underwear? So after making it as far as Washington DC, I had to rearrange the boy’s backpacks. I had packed their school notebooks in case they wanted a jump start on homeschool lessons. Well, they don’t and the backpacks were very heavy. Cooper kept shouting “I need a counterweight!!” and flailing his arms out in front like Calvin. 

Then the trip advisor forum on paris train stations got me all freaked out about pick pockets- and my mom— still overprotective as hell— kept chiming in to terrify me out of my already stressed out mind. 

So I rearranged everything, put the notebooks in the checked bags and assigned the lighter clothes among the boys’ backpacks. Now a few hours before we go, I cannot find my underwear. I looked around, but am so sick of juggling quart-sized zip locks and space bags that I said eff it; I’ll buy new ones if they don’t make it. They’ve go to be around here somewhere!(sadly, I think I’ve said that before about my underwear, and if I started tagging, it would get embarrassing, probably more so for the people who helped me lose them in the first place— OK that’s not what this post is about).

Why am I taking my kids to France?

Well, the short answer is — I was not satisfied with the educational opportunities presented to them at the time. 

After being wait listed or out-right rejected by the finer schools in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, plan B was sending them to public school. I wanted more for my kids. If these schools couldn’t see how amazing my kids are, then I will take them somewhere else.

I don’t mean to trash the schools where all of our friends send their kids, but my experience was horrible on so many levels. First of all, there is the ADHD issue, so no one wanted Samuel. His anxiety was so debilitating at the school interviews that he couldn’t handle them. When I requested accommodations, they showed their true selves. Fact is, they have enough kids whom they accepted at age 4, turned out to have issues, and now they’re stuck with them. Why should they take on any more challenges? After homeschooling for a year and a half and working so hard on his coping skills, he had come a long way, but he is brilliant and quirky. OK.

My middle kid graduated from his montessori school. We knew this was coming. We did everything right. His school records and experience didn’t fit into their box, but school admissions people should know more about alternative experiences like montessori— it’s only been around for 100 years. I was told by one school that he lacked classroom experience and that he needed to go to a more normal school, get some experience and then reapply. When I told that same admissions officer that my back up was to homeschool in France, she said, “that sounds like a wonderful experience, but it will not help him get into ________(name of school).”

Apparently his former teacher had said he was difficult to motivate— he was 8. And there are more 4th graders on the planet— we were wait listed one school, and barely got to apply at another due to size, then he wasn’t admitted anyway without any indication as to why. Never got a call back to explain. 

I was devastated by how we were treated. I felt like Julia Roberts trying to buy clothes on Rodeo drive. Schlepping my kids to interviews and testing, begging for letters of recommendation. Do not try this in fourth grade; apply in kindergarten and stay put, and if they have any quirks or “issues,” lie your ass off.

Well, I felt pretty rejected too, not just my kids— they bounced back; I did not.

So are we— er— am I —  running away from rejection? Maybe. But after homeschooling Samuel and reading about amazing things people do with their kids, on sailboats, in RVs, traveling the world to study geography and history up close and in person— a seed was planted. 

As I endured this spring, with all of the emotional ups and downs, I started joking that if no schools worked out, I would just take the kids to France. That seed started to grow as a plausible alternative.

Well, after the last rejection, I felt like I had tempted fate by even suggesting it.  I forwarded the notice to Taylor, with re: I guess we’re going to France.

All of that struggle and pain, feeling like my children weren’t understood and weren’t valued, and the feelings that I had made bad decisions for my kids  triggered a mid-life crisis. When a high school friend took her own life during my summer vacation with the boys, that tipped me into full on soul-searching.

So here we are. That’s the long version. I want more for me and my kids. We only do this once. Taylor should be thankful— it’s my mid-life crisis and I’m taking the kids with me! 

And as a post-script, my kids love their schools. Samuel is supported by teachers who have seen it all —and they are great with him. They are supportive and patient. A bright, precocious kid is the least of their worries. He is academically challenged. The littles have experienced a very loving environment in their public school. We’ve had a few hiccups, but they have transitioned well and we've had lots of support. Who knew? 

Well, obviously there’s a lesson here. I thought I knew what was best for my kids. But as it turns out, they are doing fine in a situation that was not my vision for them at all. 

That’s not nearly as humiliating and traipsing them to admissions offices— it’s humbling.

Packing List-- it's a lot more than clothes!

So today's post is about what you need to take to spend three months in France with three children— OK, three boys. And if you must know, and my friends I want you to know— two boys with ADHD .

No judging—- if I'm courageous enough to say that my kids have ADHD then you need to be courageous enough to be sympathetic.

A lot of people are afraid to admit their children have some kind of special need, so they refer to “my spirited child,” or “he has a lot of energy.” I don't think it's helpful for the parents or the children with ADHD to keep it a big secret. If we can't share and laugh about our situation, we’ll never make it. 

Now, the French insist that French children do not have ADHD. I am not making this up. This is like Ahmadinjad insisting there are no gays in Iran. I’ve actually read articles where they defend this absurdity. The French are convinced that good parenting will cure ADHD.  When we show up they will be convinced otherwise. Unless I am a terrible parent (a possibility which I’ve considered from time to time, especially on Fridays from 5-7 pm).

(Now, if you don’t want to hear my rant, scroll down to the bottom to see the list of ridiculous things I am bringing on my trip; revisit this space in June for the follow up post Stupid Things Americans Bring to France).

So a few months ago I started on the task of procuring enough ADHD medicine to get my two children through three months abroad. As all of these are controlled substances, it's not that easy. 

In order to get a 90 day supply of a controlled substance I had to arrange the perfect pharma storm.  First, I had to get the doctors to sign off on a 90 day prescription.  One of our doctors said she was not comfortable making such a request because we were 11 days short of our follow up appointment. Second, they won’t refill a prescription until your previous one runs out, and the only way you can get 90 days worth of a controlled substance is a mail order— which you must do IN ADVANCE. Finally, your scripts are delivered via US postal service, adult signature required. And you have to be home. And they can’t tell you when they’re coming.

Any time you get one of these medications, they treat you like you are felon. They scan your id, they ask about extra pills that you may be selling or God forbid using (believe me if it’s one thing a mom with ADHD kids could use, it’s amphetamines— extra energy and weight loss? Conveniently, my drug of choice is caffeine, so we’re good). 

This has been by far the most stressful part of planning this trip (all this and planes, trains and automobiles for 12 cities and four countries) —- and I'm not done yet. Tomorrow is my last day in town and I’m still missing one medication because the retail pharmacy refused to fill it prior to Feb 22— when my kids will already be in France. I’m praying for a merciful vacation override. 

Then, my biggest fear is that my meds will be confiscated. I have to bring copies of the prescriptions with me.

The stress is unbelievable to make these kind of arrangements with these medicines.

Everyone assures me that the pharmacies in France are fabulous. I am convinced that after all of this trouble I'm going to find Adderall sold on street corners in France. Maybe that’s why the kids in France don’t have ADHD. The moms are slipping methylphenidate in their Nutella.

OK, so the embarrassing list of weird things I am taking (some of these items are courtesy of Rick Steves, who I assure you, does not worry if his coat is not cute or if his scarves go with more than one outfit). Now as a disclaimer (see, you can tell I am embarrassed)— some of these items are for homeschool: zip ties, duct tape, pencil sharpener, wipes, chess set, protractor,compass, sewing kit, vacuum wine stopper, scissors, scotch tape, gum, clothesline, extra plastic bags,  kitchen knife, hole puncher, legos, collapsible cup, picnic blanket, collapsible laundry hamper, cheez-its, small towel, several chargers and plugs, reading lights, inflatable neck pillows, tiny screwdriver (to replace batteries), nail polish remover pads

I admit that I still baby my children, so they have some other special items to bring. The younger two still use tear free shampoo and the kind of toothpaste you can swallow. Along with these hard-to-find items, I’m also bringing the usual medicine cabinet list, including Benadryl, ibuprofen, Dino flossers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bandaids.

The clothing list is even more boring than the list above, but if you’re traveling with kids and want a copy, let me know.

I am only checking two bags, one of which is knocking on the door of the 50 lb weight limit. The other is carry-on size, but I am checking it anyway. The plan is that each boy is carrying a-smaller-than-approved-limit carry on and a personal item (backpack). Stay tuned. I do not gate check well. 

Now, I already had a neighbor stop me and tell me that I should stock up on all of my weird stuff before I go, which was totally validating. But I have another friend who told me, forget it… just pay $16 for advil and forget about finding mouthwash. If I don’t need any of this junk, I’ll just ditch it for the way home. 

That way I’ll have more room to bring gifts for my friends. 

Fashion Woes-- Help!

               Today is all about fashion.

I've been packing already, so it's probably too late to ask for advice, but it's killing me. I set aside all of my practical clothes to start packing. I am thinking I should pack light like everyone says, but I am going for three months. Can I really wear the same four pair of pants for three months?

We'll be there through a season change, and we're traveling back up north to Edinburgh after being warm in the south of France. So I need to keep warm and cold options through the length of the trip.

So here's the fashion component. I am not going to pretend that I am fashionable. I try. I have a look-- mostly. But after putting clothes together for me and my kids for the trip, we basically look like a North Face ad. OK for San Fransisco, but Paris? Hmph. I am totally stumped.

Taylor is no help. He loves it when I dress like that. Some post college hippy fantasy he's still enjoying. I am a mom with a muffin top. I am trying to divert the eye with tasteful jewelry and boho scarves. I can't do both.

I pulled out my Danskos, which were going to be my alternative to my day hikers. To my surprise, Taylor says-- ooh no you are not wearing those in Europe (OK Danskos are from Europe, but I get it.). They are so comfy, but I don't really wear them "out."

Suddenly I started second guessing all of my fashion choices for the trip. I was going to bring my fleece and shell combo for a coat (below left), but now I'm worried that I'm going to look like a hiker lost in Paris. So I bought a cute coat (below right-- but as you can see, this coat looks a little ridiculous with the hiker shoes).

After scouring all of the old lady footwear stores at the mall (you know 'em), I bought a pair of cushy ballet flats to replace the Danskos-- see below.

Then- for some strange reason, I decided that vests are a great option for layering, even though I am only 44 (OK, soon to be 45). So I found a black and white sweater vest (left), but after the "cute" conversation with my husband, I thought maybe the cotton polka dot was cuter-- even though both came from the same old lady store after scouring the internet for hip sweater vests. I could feel the cougars in Cache mocking me as I went in there BTW!).



I started adding a couple of cuter tops to replace the long sleeved t-shirts I planned to use for layering.

Now I feel like I am packing two wardrobes and bringing too much stuff!

I plan to send a suitcase home with Taylor before going to Paris, London and Edinburgh, because that's when I need to pack the lightest, so something is going to have to go before I hit the big cities.

So what's it going to be hiker girl or stylish mom-- ? Either way, it's starting to sound like a fashion disaster!

The Short Map from Crazy

So, many of my friends have asked-- where exactly are you going?

At the risk of attracting some crazy stalker-- do they have those outside of the US? -- here's our rough itinerary.

This map is sort of tiny, but I tried to indicate our path with numbers. Start in the middle, then go down, then up again. I trust you know where Italy and the UK are; I couldn't map those legs on the same map.

1) We start with two weeks in Sancerre at Couer de France language school. We're renting an apartment from them. It's a family immersion program, which should be interesting. One, all four of us will be in the same class together. I have some French. Samuel has one semester of Blair Middle School French (he now tells people he can speak French). The littles have been tutoring here at home with Madame Caroline. The school assures me they are used to various levels in the same class. They have no idea.

Two, I have the most distractable kids on the planet, and when they're together, it's like twin language or something. I cannot even break in. God help the teacher who has us for a group. And my boys are crazy loud- more about that in a future entry.

We'll be in school from 9-12 and do field trips in the afternoons. I won't start homeschooling for the first week, because we'll all be adjusting and spending all of our brain power on living in a foreign country. I'll do a separate post on the Homeschool Plan. It is quite a production and I am very proud of it. Only my homeschool friends can appreciate it, but I can totally geek out on curriculum.

2) After two weeks and having achieved full fluency in French, we'll head to Antibes. I looked at Cannes initially because I have friends with an apartment there. I found a language school in Antibes,

but not much in Cannes for children during the school year. When the apartment in Cannes fell through, I almost cancelled the whole show; but, I had been in contact with the school in Antibes and they were quite nice. I sort of fell in love with the town. It's quieter than Cannes, a little cheaper, and still a lovely beach town. I found a house within the walls of "le vieux ville" the old city, and I sealed the deal.

This is where we will be fully immersed in French culture. We will not be tourists. We'll homeschool in the mornings, keeping up with math from home and of course French. I have developed a history/geography curriculum based on where we are living and traveling in France, Italy and the UK. In the afternoons, we'll go play, take walks, whatever. It is my goal to slow things down and become a mom without distractions. Did I need to leave the US to do this? Maybe.

3) Speaking of curriculum, we'll take a side trip to see the Roman sites in Nimes, Orange and Arles. We've hired a guide who happens to be a MOB (and one girl), and a Virginian. What luck! We'll also hit the Papal Palace in Avignon, although my lessons are woefully weak on this subject- sorry RC friends, but what difference did it make? Maybe I'll understand the significance after visiting. 

4) Just wanted you to know that I will get a little break (everyone is so worried about me!). That same school who was so nice to us in planning the trip has a youth program starting at the end of April. Samuel will go to language school with some other kids during the day and participate in various youth programs in the evenings. The littles will get a private class each morning. I know this is just one week, but I plan to enjoy some local sites and have some me time while they are in school. 

5) Taylor arrives! He really wanted to go to Italy or Spain, not France. Hmph--- I think he really just doesn't want to be around everyone (including us) speaking French and leaving him out. Nevertheless, we'll show him the town of Antibes for a couple of days and head to Florence for some culture. I hope to build on the kids' studies of the Renaissance, which we will have wrapped up prior to his arrival. 

One of the Cinque Terre. We hope to stay in the middle and hike the whole thing.

We then go through Cinque Terre on our way to ...

6) Nice, where we'll say our goodbyes and head off in different directions. Dad home to Virginia, and us off to Paris.

7) After being in France for two and a half months, I will finally have the nerve to take on the Parisians. I am terrified. 

8) We'll take a train to Caen (not to be confused with Cannes; I keep mispronouncing both and it drives the French crazy-- first of all Caen is not the nicest place to visit, so they wonder why I am going all of this way to visit a sh*t hole like Caen (again, sorry, but it's what I hear) second, only a clinically crazy American (which I am not currently) would want to drive from Cannes to the D-Day Beaches of Normandy, but alas, I am over using parenthetical comments, commas and dashes). I am renting a car and heading to Bayeux to see the famed Bayeux tapestry (to be studied during our medieval unit) and staying here as a home base for the D-Day Museum and beaches. 

It really doesn't look that bad. And after finding this picture, I read that it got bombed to hell in WWII.
Now I feel guilty.

9) Seriously, what can I say about Mont St. Michel? This has always been a dream of mine. We're going a few days in advance fo the full moon, so I am not sure if we'll see the legendary tides. We are staying "on the rock" as they say so we can soak up the mystery and drama of the ancient abby after the sun goes down, and enjoy the sites the next morning before the tourist buses arrive.

10) After splurging at MSM, we are going back to the aforementioned (s-hole) of Caen, where we will spend the night in a budget hotel near the train station, just to make sure my kids fully appreciate what we had in MSM.

11) Early in the morning, we'll say good-bye to France and head by train to London, via Paris and then the Chunnel. I'll either be licking my wounds from my French experience, or sad to see it go. I'll be back in familiar territory, in more ways than one. I brought a youth group here ten years ago, so I am pretty sure I can handle my three boys. I'm throwing the curriculum book out and playing tourist for ten days. Still trying to figure out if we will drive to Edinburgh, or take the train. This is the only part of the trip I am willing to play by ear.  

12) Last stop: Edinburgh. One of my favorite cities ever. I was Samuel's age the first time I saw the castle on top of the hill, lit up and surrounded by layers of city. I now appreciate how cosmopolitan it is. I cannot wait to share this city with my kids. Best fish and chips I've ever had. I expect Bennett will go nuts here, as he has the most Scottish name in the family (which he points out every time we go to Busch Gardens-- pathetic really, that I would even bring that up-- BG, really? In a post about the REAL old county?). It'll never happen again.

So there it is friends. That's where we're going.