So today's post is about what you need to take to spend three months in France with three children— OK, three boys. And if you must know, and my friends I want you to know— two boys with ADHD .
No judging—- if I'm courageous enough to say that my kids have ADHD then you need to be courageous enough to be sympathetic.
A lot of people are afraid to admit their children have some kind of special need, so they refer to “my spirited child,” or “he has a lot of energy.” I don't think it's helpful for the parents or the children with ADHD to keep it a big secret. If we can't share and laugh about our situation, we’ll never make it.
Now, the French insist that French children do not have ADHD. I am not making this up. This is like Ahmadinjad insisting there are no gays in Iran. I’ve actually read articles where they defend this absurdity. The French are convinced that good parenting will cure ADHD. When we show up they will be convinced otherwise. Unless I am a terrible parent (a possibility which I’ve considered from time to time, especially on Fridays from 5-7 pm).
(Now, if you don’t want to hear my rant, scroll down to the bottom to see the list of ridiculous things I am bringing on my trip; revisit this space in June for the follow up post Stupid Things Americans Bring to France).
So a few months ago I started on the task of procuring enough ADHD medicine to get my two children through three months abroad. As all of these are controlled substances, it's not that easy.
In order to get a 90 day supply of a controlled substance I had to arrange the perfect pharma storm. First, I had to get the doctors to sign off on a 90 day prescription. One of our doctors said she was not comfortable making such a request because we were 11 days short of our follow up appointment. Second, they won’t refill a prescription until your previous one runs out, and the only way you can get 90 days worth of a controlled substance is a mail order— which you must do IN ADVANCE. Finally, your scripts are delivered via US postal service, adult signature required. And you have to be home. And they can’t tell you when they’re coming.
Any time you get one of these medications, they treat you like you are felon. They scan your id, they ask about extra pills that you may be selling or God forbid using (believe me if it’s one thing a mom with ADHD kids could use, it’s amphetamines— extra energy and weight loss? Conveniently, my drug of choice is caffeine, so we’re good).
This has been by far the most stressful part of planning this trip (all this and planes, trains and automobiles for 12 cities and four countries) —- and I'm not done yet. Tomorrow is my last day in town and I’m still missing one medication because the retail pharmacy refused to fill it prior to Feb 22— when my kids will already be in France. I’m praying for a merciful vacation override.
Then, my biggest fear is that my meds will be confiscated. I have to bring copies of the prescriptions with me.
The stress is unbelievable to make these kind of arrangements with these medicines.
Everyone assures me that the pharmacies in France are fabulous. I am convinced that after all of this trouble I'm going to find Adderall sold on street corners in France. Maybe that’s why the kids in France don’t have ADHD. The moms are slipping methylphenidate in their Nutella.
OK, so the embarrassing list of weird things I am taking (some of these items are courtesy of Rick Steves, who I assure you, does not worry if his coat is not cute or if his scarves go with more than one outfit). Now as a disclaimer (see, you can tell I am embarrassed)— some of these items are for homeschool: zip ties, duct tape, pencil sharpener, wipes, chess set, protractor,compass, sewing kit, vacuum wine stopper, scissors, scotch tape, gum, clothesline, extra plastic bags, kitchen knife, hole puncher, legos, collapsible cup, picnic blanket, collapsible laundry hamper, cheez-its, small towel, several chargers and plugs, reading lights, inflatable neck pillows, tiny screwdriver (to replace batteries), nail polish remover pads
I admit that I still baby my children, so they have some other special items to bring. The younger two still use tear free shampoo and the kind of toothpaste you can swallow. Along with these hard-to-find items, I’m also bringing the usual medicine cabinet list, including Benadryl, ibuprofen, Dino flossers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bandaids.
The clothing list is even more boring than the list above, but if you’re traveling with kids and want a copy, let me know.
I am only checking two bags, one of which is knocking on the door of the 50 lb weight limit. The other is carry-on size, but I am checking it anyway. The plan is that each boy is carrying a-smaller-than-approved-limit carry on and a personal item (backpack). Stay tuned. I do not gate check well.
Now, I already had a neighbor stop me and tell me that I should stock up on all of my weird stuff before I go, which was totally validating. But I have another friend who told me, forget it… just pay $16 for advil and forget about finding mouthwash. If I don’t need any of this junk, I’ll just ditch it for the way home.
That way I’ll have more room to bring gifts for my friends.
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