Rain in Cinque Terre

When we last left the crazy family, they were holed up in their tiny room waiting for the weather to clear. OK, I was waiting for the weather to clear; the other Shorts were fine playing their electronics— “but Mom, we get really good wi-fi here!” 

Room for mom, dad and Coops on the little fold out behind him.

Kids' side where you can see Samuel getting his game face on.

Taylor and I crafted a plan B. Instead of a big hike of through three of the Cinque Terre today and then a short hike to the fourth, Monterosso, tomorrow, we decided to train it to Monterosso today and hike as much as we could tomorrow. 

Of course when you’re traveling, weather is always iffy; but hiking these trails can be treacherous in the rain, so no one advises it. My friend Rick Steves told me that the weather was unpredictable in the CInque Terre, and these things usually blow over; but I didn’t expect the weather in one town over to be so different. It was raining a little when we arrived in Monterosso, but it was warmer and there was no wind. Within minutes of our arrival, it totally cleared up! Well played, Shorts! 

We found another Mother-Genius-Inspired Playground surrounded by cafes (did they know we were coming!?)— only this one had an ocean view as an added bonus. The boys were happy to play on the playground and get a gelato snack while Taylor and I had a beer and enjoyed the sunshine. 












We explored the town of Monterosso and I checked off five of the seven sites listed on Trip Advisor!! Considering we left Vernazza which only has about three sites, none of which were advisable in the rain, I’d say we did quite well. 

Yes- we bought more legos; new Simpsons mini-figs.
Just came out and kids had to have them. 

We found a restaurant on TA that was listed as family friendly, good service and good food. Apparently everyone in there had read the same reviews, because nearly each table had a kid or two. I felt sorry for the two tables of Americans who didn't have kids (and who were inconveniently seated next to us). Then I learned one of them was pregnant, so that counts as half, right? The other table of adults chatted with Samuel and seemed to enjoy his company, so no harm done. I did notice that two of the tables had their kids totally plugged in, which, despite being very tempting at times, I have completely outlawed in our family. In countries where they value the extended mealtime, this restriction can be excrutiating— and pretty bad for the kids too. I think my kids need to learn to sit still and look around from time to time. Heck, even try to make conversation at the dinner table (with perfect strangers, as in the case of my clinically extroverted children). 

We wrapped up an amazing day in the Cinque Terre with a seaside walk to the small train station to head back to Vernazza and our little rooms. We ended up having a great day, after a very dull start, showing once again that when your time is limited, you’ve gotta make it work. 

My kids are honing their adventurous spirits. I am trying to be a good role model for them, by making good decisions and taking action, but I’m not always that courageous. Yesterday the boys were climbing up some big rocks on the beach-very big and very high up. I asked Taylor to call Bennett down because he was making me nervous. Taylor said, “no, he is really good at climbing, watch.” I suppressed my over-protective urges and sure enough, Bennett navigated down the rocks safely with confidence. Cooper was venturing up while holding a strawberry on a stick (uh- long story) again, I got nervous and Taylor said “I think that’s going to take care of itself.”  Cooper figured out that his plan was not going to work, so he hopped down and abandoned both the rocks and the strawberry. Give them a little slack in the rope and see what they do. All parenting comes with a little risk taking, and it is important to give your kids the freedom to figure some things out on their own.

But, here’s the catch: there’s another metaphor about rope and kids, and it expresses a more severe outcome. I intend to take it up in a future post, because this has been a real struggle of mine as a parent. Giving your child more freedom means they get accustomed to making decisions, they develop expectations that they should make all of their decisions, even ones they are not yet mature enough to make, and some may have consequences they do not understand. 

I have been accused of having stubborn children- and not just by me! This dogged me last spring when trying to get my kids into school. I have always believed in respecting my kids, giving them some freedom— even at the risk of predictable outcomes, allowing them to make decisions and discuss, yes even argue at times,. But when does strong-willed, confident and determined turned into argumentative, stubborn and oppositional? 

One of my kids’ teachers wrote in his report card that he was argumentative. Of course one of the schools we applied to asked me about it. What could I say? When I asked the teacher why she would write something like that in a record that admissions officers would read (especially considering that the school ended at third grade and necessitated application to subsequent schools) she told me, “well, he won’t do what I tell him, and [when I talk with you] you always respond to me ‘well, then he should suffer the natural consequences.’ Not everything has natural consequences.” Well, I thought I was playing right out of the Maria Montessori playbook, but apparently I got carried away— and does anyone tell you when they think you’re screwing up as a parent? 

A friend commented to me that she couldn’t wait to hear how this trip affected my philosophy on parenting. Of course the idea intimidates me because 1) do I have a philosophy of parenting? Sometimes I’m just holding on for dear life!  2) could I articulate it in any intelligent way? and 3) do I need to evaluate this experience and form a cogent thesis? A little overwhelming but I’ll do my best in that future post I promised. 

But for today, our lesson has been brought to you by the letter G- like Get out there. You can only wait around for so long for the weather to clear, or the day to be perfect or your kids to do the right things at the right time.