I learned today that Cooper thinks I am the best mom. Samuel quickly interjected that actually, moms fall on a bell curve, and I’m really just in the middle. Ouch. Cooper says that at the bottom of the scale are the terrible moms who tell their kids to do whatever they want, “with no regard for rules whatsoever.” Well we know I am not the worst mom either. I have laid down lots of rules for these guys while in France, just to prove to them that this is no ordinary vacation.
I don't know why I’m putting so much pressure on myself- or them- to “earn” their summer in France. Or justify it.
Perhaps I’m feeling a little ridiculously extravagant.
Or maybe as I’ve said before, I just don’t want to leave any part of this “unexperienced.” Today when it was time for Bennett to go to sailing lessons, he said he preferred to stay on the beach and read his book. I repeated— “just to be sure, you have an option of sailing a boat on the Mediterranean, but you’re choosing to sit on the beach and read your book?” Yep. I’ve used the push strategy before with this kid and I decided to acquiesce. Fine. But I will remind him of his tragically short sighted decision later.
Maybe I don’t want them to take this for granted. The last trip was billed as “once in a lifetime…” and here we are again. Meh.
Am I trying to justify this trip for my husband and my boss who “let” me take this trip? If I show them how hard we’re working on our French, or how responsible I am with my duties, maybe I will be given this much freedom again?
Why do I feel so accountable? Guilty? Indebted? Again, a lot of pressure.
I think it’s because I am a faithful person. Paul says that we don’t behave in order to get God’s love (grace), but we behave in response to God’s love. I feel so thankful for this opportunity that I feel like there’s a proper response.
It’s been constructed by generations of Christian guilt I suppose. Perhaps, but I wouldn’t be sad if my kids someday believed that they should respect me and behave because I love them, not to earn my love.
As I thought about it more, I remembered the Spiderman quote- "with great power there must also come great responsibility." That’s something else I try to teach my kids. We don’t feel like we have much power right now in the age of Citizens United and Donald Trump, or terrorist attacks and refugees who need more than we can give. My kids are starting to realize that they are privileged; and with that comes the responsibility to be good stewards of that privilege.
Come to find out, that quote isn’t just from Spiderman. All good things come from thee, Oh la France!
"Ils doivent envisager qu’une grande responsabilité est la suite inséparable d’un grand pouvoir." Traditionally attributed to Voltaire, this is first documented from the French National Convention in 1793. Basically, “It is considered that great responsibility follows inseparably from great power.”
I think my kids respond better to Spiderman. He is a teenage boy after all; but unfortunately for Peter Parker and dozens of other superheroes and Disney characters, the parents are never around to teach these sorts of things.
I am around and trying my best, even if that only places me in the middle of the curve.
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