Clash of Cultures- In the Can

can

verb \kən, ˈkan also ˈken; dial ˈkin\

verbal auxiliary

1a:  know how to <she can read>; b:be physically or mentally able to <he can lift 200 pounds>; c: used to indicate possibility <do you think he can still be alive> <those things can happen> ; sometimes used interchangeably with may; d:be permitted by conscience or feeling to <can hardly blame her>; e:be made possible or probable by circumstances to <he can hardly have meant that>; f:be inherently able or designed to <everything that money can buy>

2: have permission to —used interchangeably with may <you can go now if you like>

noun

1: a usually cylindrical receptacle:a vessel for holding liquids; specifically a drinking vessel; b:a usually metal typically cylindrical receptacle usually with an open top, often with a removable cover, and sometimes with a spout or side handles (as for holding milk or trash); c:a container (as of tinplate) in which products (as perishable foods) are hermetically sealed for preservation until used:a jar for packing or preserving fruit or vegetables 

2:  jail

3a :toilet; b:bathroom

4:  buttocks

5 :destroyer 

in the can

of a film or videotape: completed and ready for release

Thanks for clearing that up, Merriam Webster, now can you tell me—

What the eff is THIS? 

I was hoping to have a delicious bit of tuna with my pasta. There’s a whole shop filled with canned fish and seafood around the corner, these French know how to can some tuna, believe me. It’s no chicken of the sea. So imagine how pissed I was to find this thing as the only implement in the kitchen that resembled a can opener. Am I camping? 

Sorry to sound insensitive, but I’ve been in this country before and they have can openers- even electric ones! It looks like it’s missing half of its parts! Forget it.

The next day, the boys are lazing around while I start to pack lunches for our hike (we excel at picnics). I need to make a sandwich—this is BULLSHIT! I paid $4 for that can of tuna and I am going to open it. I’m half laughing at myself and half praying I don’t end up in urgent care. 

I was in the Outer Banks once, alone with my kids, like I do (because vacations can’t always wait for Dad to get out of work). I was setting stuff up when I got my hand stuck in a …. OK, we’ll skip that, totally gross, but off we go, to the urgent care and the nurse bends down to address my children and I say- “uh, no…it’s ME who’s hurt.” That wasn’t the most embarrassing part- I spent the next few days with a sandwich bag over my hand so I wouldn’t get sand and seawater in it. Nothing a cold beverage to the palm couldn’t help— and constant application was needed. 

I’d like to say I got the can open, but mostly just hinged in two places. I call that a win. 

So much for THAT can.

Here’s what I bought the next day— BOOM!

The first day we got here, we went to my kids favorite beach- La Gravette. I think I’ve posted pics before, but it’s a little cresent beach nearly contained by two jetties. It was the ancient Greek port and you can totally envision it that way. 

Today I think of it as a giant toilet bowl. Sure, I think it’s fine but I can’t get over the idea that people are peeing in it all day. But we go because it’s the kids’ favorite (it’s the one we ALWAYS went to the first time we were here, and my kids are creatures of habit—see EVERY BLOG FROM THE LAST TIME!!!). There is an English family next to us. As they pack up ready to leave they’re complaining about the sand everywhere. Now I am accustomed to this from working at the Virginia Beach oceanfront for three summers as a kid. Tourists ALWAYS complain about the sand. Where did they think they were going? 

He’s ranting and rinsing- (and what are you going to do now, genius? your feet are clean but you have 50 yards to walk through sand…), then his kid says he needs to pee. He says to his son- “well, you have two choices- you can pee in the sea or you can go to the public loo, and it’s a FRENCH public loo, so you can imagine how disgusting THAT is…” 

OK, again- where did he think he was going? Of course that’s beside the point, because he just made a terrible comment in front of his child and the people at the beach, most of whom understand English— and by that I mean the language, not the people. That’s been historically impossible with these two, and I’m not just talking about the can, or the loo or whatever you call it.

Last night, as promised, we returned to the tiny movie theater so we could see a U.S. film in French. I know it sounds silly, but my kids think this is really cool. 

Last time we saw a movie they had already seen, so it was no problem to understand the plot, even if we were unsure of all of the words in the dialogue. This time that was not an option, so we saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 - thankfully, also not a problem understanding the plot because there typically isn’t one. 

Now, my French is rusty, but thankfully I understand more than I can speak; but when I asked Cooper how he did, he said- “well, I understood about 30%, and what I didn’t know, I could just figure out from the words I did know.” Successful lesson using contextual clues to understand French- in the can!

PS- we found another beach today-- it has big rocks for the kids to jump from, lots of afternoon shade and small waves because it's less protected. The English guy would like it because there's no sand- of course I'm not telling HIM about it (I guess we know where he stood on the whole Brexit thing!).

and here's a video: