Vive la Difference

In response to a friend’s question- how is this time different for my kids— I thought I would ask them over dinner last night. 

Ironically, we returned to the restaurant where my kids had an epic meltdown during one of our first nights in Antibes in 2014. After that stressful night, I think the waitress felt sorry for me and went out of her way to be kind to us the next few times we saw her, including once in the street when she didn’t hesitate to come over and greet us. Of course she recognized us immediately last week when we poked our heads in to say hello. I would like to think we somehow endeared ourselves to her, but she probably remembers us for the kids’ bad behavior and me welling up with tears and regret. 

Dinner last night definitely went better than two years ago, mostly because the kids are older and have fewer meltdowns. There were also a lot of kids out being loud and playing in the street near us, so my kids were calm in comparison. The difference could also be my approach. I was so worried about them misbehaving last time until I realized that the French are very forgiving about kids behaving like kids. Other than being loud in the apartment near the neighbors, or at times when were are in close proximity with others who are being quiet (the bus or at restaurants), I am letting a lot of kid behavior go without a big fuss. To be honest, it never bothers me, but it bothers the hell out of our family members, the neighbors, people in church, teachers at school, people trying to have dinner in a nice restaurant— some of you understand.

Cooper is distressed when his Kinder bueno is hidden inside another package inside another package--
 and we thought the French were so environmentally friendly!!

Cooper says that he is “not so enthusiastic” this time; when I asked what he meant, he said that this time he knows what to expect about France this time. I like his choice of words— but I wouldn’t say my kids lack enthusiasm. If my kids like a place, they beg to return. I’ve mentioned this before— my kids crave routine, even in a new environment where it’s difficult to establish. Samuel almost seemed disappointed to return to Antibes after our recent trip to Toulon and Nimes because he was thrilled to see new things. At the same time he drove me CRAZY in Marseille because we didn't have a plan for the unexpected layover. Bleh! Tough crowd.

Although Cooper is less anxious about being in France, I think he is more anxious about speaking French than last time. He asks me repeatedly how to say something before he tries it out. He now knows what he doesn’t know and he has been the most enthusiastic about learning French this time. He has asked me to read a book we bought here each night and translate along the way so he can learn the words. It’s exhausting for me at the end of the day but he loves it. 

King of the world- Benoit!

Bennett says the biggest difference is that they’re speaking more French. Pardon my French but that’s a bunch of crap. In 2014 I was prepping them with videos, online exercises and tutoring before we came. This time I was too busy to pull that off. I think they did retain a lot more than I thought they had, and I was proud of the amount of French they spoke in Cannes and Toulon last week. I wish they spoke more French, but it’s hard when they are with each other. The real proof will be this week as they attend language school with kids from all over the world whose only common language is (supposed to be) French. Bennett totally looks French; people often assume he is French until he speaks with his American accent, but I really think he sounds great.

Mr. Cool Guy-- and yes we brought a skateboard, two in fact!!

Samuel is so cocky. He told someone two years ago that he was fluent in French. Gotta love it. He will talk to strangers in French without any hesitation. He also enjoys talking to strangers in English, German, and affected English accent. His French is really coming along and he wants to get rid of any trace of his American accent. Aim high Samuel! He’s going to get a lot out of the school this week, which is fabulous. He is also the most taken with the diversity of kids at the school. He is very interested an aware of global politics; he absolutely blew away an English couple on the beach when he could discuss not only their new Foreign Minister, but Brexit, of course, and Scottish independence (in a Scottish accent, PS). He buddied up with a girl from Russia last time who we met up with later in London and kept in touch, so I am hopeful he’ll make some connections again. This is where he really shines. Other kids have sports, Samuel has this.

I think the biggest difference this time is that we are here in the summer. While I was fearful that we would be surrounded by tourists, many of them seem to be from elsewhere in France. I am not hearing as much English as I thought I would, which is great for our French. Everyone around us is on vacation, so there are more kids out and about in the daytime. Everything is open, whereas last time it was off-season.We get to see Antibes as the bustling tourist destination that is. And we get to swim- the beaches were too cold to swim last time, but fine to picnic. People just assume we’re here on vacation like they are; there’s no difficult answer about homeschooling or why we chose Antibes. This time it is a vacation and it’s less weird (well, it’s still us, so that’s always a little weird). The last experience was more interesting than a mom and three boys on summer vacation in the South of France. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. That’s precisely why I didn't think I could write a very entertaining blog (and maybe it’s not!).

Because we’re here in the summer, my kids have a summer mentality about studying French. I scheduled time during our first few days here to have some home lessons on French for the boys. You would have thought I was torturing them— SCHOOL in the SUMMER!?  I knew it would be an uphill battle; in fact, two years ago, a lot of my friends asked why I didn’t just wait and do our experience in the summer. I explained that we would be doing school in France and I knew my kids wouldn’t want to do that in the summer time.

Bennett and Samuel chat up the German and Italian girls. 

I’ve talked to a few kids at the language school for whom this sort of thing is the norm. I guess if Americans could send their kids to an intensive language summer camp in another country just a few hours away by train, maybe more of us would do it. 

I think the differences I see in my kids this time is that they have more confidence to speak another language, ride trains and buses and eat different foods. I think they have met more people from more countries than most adults I know, and having done this before, they think that’s expected. They don’t see France as a monolith, so hopefully they won’t paint other countries or people with a broad brush either. And this time they understand that spending long periods of time in another country isn’t weird, it’s fun. Vive la difference!

Taylor- you wondered what we'd do without beach chairs-- you can use this one when you come!