Great Friends

My last post was about being a great mom. This one is about being a great friend.

I think most of my friends would agree that I am a great mommy friend to have. We all know motherhood is not always fabulous; even though most moms appear to have their acts together, it’s not the reality. 

I’ve always been brutally honest with my friends about my mommy journey, from serving as a panelist about Postpartum Depression to blogging openly about my son’s ADHD. My friends know that I am a nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on or an empathetic listener as we whine over wine.

I have been lucky to have some great crazy mommy friends (whom I referenced in my July 15 blog “Never Giving Up”). I don’t think we could have made it this far without each other and as I said perviously, I know that you will never give up on me.

Enter a chance meeting with an American family from California. We were dropping our kids off for language school and started chatting. The mom said her husband was leaving after the first week. Ah ha! Two American moms, alone with their kids— we should definitely get together!

A week later we finally caught up for a kid-free lunch. Adult conversation— in English! What a treat. 

I was explaining our first experience two years ago and our present trip— I’m even keeping a blog I say, “you should read it!” 

Now some wacky things have happened with my blog and I get interesting feedback from my friends. I didn’t want creepy comments popping up, so I set my privacy settings to just below “stranger danger.”  Still, never really know who reads my posts. A woman from Alaska contacted me once about French language school after somehow finding my blog. 

Turns out my new friend from California also has a blog- one that she started with a girlfriend more than 5 years ago. Her experience of being overwhelmed by baby number two was similar to mine, only her baby number two arrived minutes after its twin. And similar to my experience, she just couldn’t help thinking that everyone else was making it look so easy. Something must have been wrong.

I joined a play group to meet other moms and similarly she joined one; but Barbara and one of her mommy friends started blogging. Then they got picked up by sponsors, then TV shows, then a network. Now Barb and her friend Jen have media partnership that has probably helped millions of moms who felt like something must have been wrong. 

I took a look at the blog and they touch on the same issues that we bitch about in carpool; however, there are lots of moms that don’t have a supportive group of friends. Barb and Jen struck a cord with a lot of women who really needed to hear about what others experienced as moms. And the anonymity of the web was probably a Godsend for the many victims of mommy guilt out there. 

I love that the universe put Barbara in my path. It was great to know that there is a genuine, hopefully growing desire to help each other with this crazy mommy business. I have encountered moms who make me feel inadequate- well, my own son put me in the middle of the curve for God’s sake— but I have more love and gratitude shared with my friends than competition and judgment. I try to be a great mom, but I also try to be a great friend. There are days when I wish I could have done more, reached out more, listened more or laughed more. I try not to take myself too seriously. I’ve gotten so much from my mommy friends; giving back great friendship is the least I can do. 

How cool that we have examples (big and small) of moms who make a difference by being great friends.

Take a look at Barb and Jen’s website if you get a chance: http://jenandbarb.com